All My Posts, Health Updates

Post-Op Thoughts

Hi everyone! For those of you who don’t know, I underwent a diagnostic laparoscopic surgery on Monday to look for the cause of my pelvic pain.

Since I was 17, I’ve been on continuous birth control to skip my periods due to extreme fatigue, nausea and vomiting, cramping, emotional upheaval, and debilitating pain. My first GYN told me it was all normal PMS stuff and that I would just have to learn to live with it like everyone else, but prescribed me hormonal birth control nonetheless. When I got to college, the pain continued and disrupted my life should I forget to take my pill on time or, heaven forbid, actually menstruate. That’s when I started doing research and talking to different doctors who told me that most likely, my pain was caused by endometriosis (for more on that, check out my earlier blog post, What’s Wrong With You Part 1). So, for two years we’ve been treating the symptoms, assuming we’d discovered the source of my pain, and deciding to put off surgery until I had a solid chunk of time to recover. Then Monday comes around, I go under, the doctors go in, and…

Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Zero. No endometriosis, no scar tissue, no cysts, no nothing.

Don’t get me wrong, I am relieved I don’t have endometriosis! As a painful medical condition without a cure, endo is not something anyone wants to have. But this begs the question: What do I have? If all my insides look hunky-dory, and believe me, they checked everywhere, what’s causing all the pain? Could this be part of my fibromyalgia? Or is there an underlying hormone condition spiked by my menstrual cycle?

We have no idea.

Right now, the only thing I can do is wait, and then discuss my options with my GYN at my post-op appointment next week. Until then, the thing I need to worry about is recovery, because even though they didn’t have to remove anything, they did cut me open in 5 places, and that’s something that requires a bit of recuperation.

I will admit, I’m feeling particularly frustrated. Part of me wanted there to be tons of scar tissue and endo so that I could have a feeling of justification for all the doctors who doubted my pain, and if I’m honest, so I could justify some of that pain to myself. In order to kill a monster, you have to be able to name it and right now it feels like we’re back at square one. I’m like Wile E Coyote after his rocket propelled skates shot him past the Road Runner and into the cliffside: back to the drawing board.

The positive is this; we’ve ruled out a few causes of my pelvic pain. And my fellow WorryWarriors know, sometimes that’s the best you can hope for.

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