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An Open Letter: To My Friends Who Don’t Shy Away from My Illness

To my friends. My friends who stay by me. My friends who stand tall beside me, even when I cannot do the same. My friends who do not shy away, who brave doctors’ offices and hospital visits and medication changes and pain flares.

Thank you.

I cannot express how much your friendship means to me. I do not like being vulnerable (ironic coming from the person with an almost too-much-information level public blog). I show the world only what I think the world is ready to see, only what I think the world can handle. But my illness doesn’t work like that. So, on those days when I’m crying on your floor, unable to move from pain, or insisting I’m fine only to pass out moments later, know that the fact that you stay by me means more than I can say.

I know that our friendship has suffered because of this illness. I know that I cannot always be there for you when needed, and that hanging out with me now involves far more resting and planning for every possible scenario. I know that it’s not easy. I know it can even be annoying and frustrating at times. But the fact that you are still with me is something I thank God for every day. Because the reason I can continue being strong, continue living my life despite a noncooperative body, is that I have support from people like you.

It’s not just the 3am visits to urgent care, or the refusing to leave my side after an incident, though those mean the world. It’s that you still treat me as me, still want to watch tv with me, discuss music with me, and be around me as much as I want to be around you.

People tell me all the time that I am strong, because there is nothing more difficult than living with a chronic illness, but I’m not sure that’s true. I think there is nothing more difficult than living with a chronic illness by yourself. Because I know I wouldn’t have made it this far without you by my side.

So, thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for not shying away when things changed. Thank you for staying. Thank you for being my friend.

4 thoughts on “An Open Letter: To My Friends Who Don’t Shy Away from My Illness”

  1. I cannot imagine anyone would NOT want to be your friend. You are one of the most interesting people I know. You are smart, funny, creative, adventurous, empathetic, inspirational, determined, outspoken and beautiful inside and out. And I’m seriously not saying this cuz I’m your mom, you inspire me every day to be a better person.

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  2. I too have a chronic illness and appreciate this post very much.
    We quickly learn who loves us.
    My still-with-me friends are too precious for words.

    Like

  3. I’m deeply touched by this blog… The beauty of true friendship always leaves me emotional!
    Kudos to you! For braving your way through your illness💛
    Your courage knows no bounds, you are such a positive inspiration for me and for many others!
    I’m so happy to know about your supportive friends💟
    Though we are separated by distance, for any emotional support, always count me in, beautiful soul!

    Stay blessed! ☺
    -theinkwarrior

    Like

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